When I born she was there
A tiny .. hidden.. essence of my birth.. In a corner of my
mind some where
She was silent. Sometimes I heard she murmuring softly
Time gone by.
She started weeping
silently
Thus one day it became lamenting. And slowly to a scream
stuck in throat
The day I realized she started growing drastically in me
through me
She became a visitor once in a while
Intruder in uninvited occasions..
& one day She replaced the me in me ..i began to live
with a stranger..
She became a threatening stranger
She started hiding me from the world
She take over my control …even loved ones of mine never realized
I don’t exist when she comes..
She wanted me to be hers..
I acted to survive. But she was eating me..
She liked loneliness, anxiety ..dryness ..she was neutral to
the world
Nothing given her happiness, nothing given her smile
Nothing given her pain.. nothing given her victory
She was numb.. like death..
She never liked me doing anything..
The tear rolls down from my cheeks reminded me I existed
long back
She took me to a cave and caged me.. i scream for help sometimes
but nobody heard.
People come with advises but they never realized it was her
they are talking
My shadow left me.. then I became a confused soul..
She killed my hopes, she killed my dreams.. she showed how
worthless I am
She showed me the depth of failures..
I was chained.. scared to live or die
Slowly the ones around me also became hopeless,
My eyes seen ..But mind was hers.. Body was hers.. My brain
was on fire..
I can fel the anger of her vibrating in my brain when
some body approaches and try to calm me..She became more violent
Her violence they saw n misinterpret as me
They never saw my caged soul under her dominance
& I realized nobody can help except my self
Blames were coming from everywhere and I was struggling to
see a way out
But……
The light of hope stayed forbidden for me ..
Still in a dilemma to between should I leave me to herself
or should I try to catch me back
I know in this sentence also she don’t allow me to take
decision
I’m scared she is hearing this too..
Wall of my mind is full of scratches of my soul trying to
escape..
Its bleeding.. its paining
I am….nothing…I don’t know what to say
Just trapped..!!
Time to leave.. Again She is calling me now
